Parenting with a Mental Health Condition
Dealing with Verbal Bullying: A Guide for Parents
8-Minute Read
Let’s face it, parenting is already a whirlwind, but doing it while juggling your mental health? That’s a whole different ballgame. Now add verbal bullying into the mix, and suddenly, it’s like managing chaos on steroids. But hey, mums and dads, you’re not alone in this. Let’s unpack verbal bullying and how to navigate it like the superstars you are.
What is Verbal Bullying?
Let’s get real for a second. Verbal bullying isn’t just “kids being kids” or harmless name-calling. It’s those relentless insults, the “jokes” that aren’t funny, and the nicknames no one asked for. Sure, one-off banter might just be friendly teasing, but if the name-calling is persistent, repetitive, and hurtful? Boom, that’s bullying.
It’s not just about what’s said—it’s how it makes your child feel. If your kiddo is feeling rubbish, and they’ve asked the bullies to knock it off, yet the insults keep coming, it’s time to call it what it is: verbal bullying.
Key Takeaways:
- Words hurt, no matter your age. Being called names can chip away at anyone’s mental well-being, even adults.
- “It’s just a joke” is not an excuse. If it makes someone uncomfortable, it’s not funny, full stop.
- What you see isn’t always what you get. Someone might laugh it off on the outside, but inside? They could be battling a storm of emotions.
Why Do People Bully?
Honestly, bullies don’t wake up one day and think, “Today, I’ll ruin someone’s mood.” But that doesn’t make their behaviour okay. Here are some common reasons behind their actions:
- Showing off: They might want to impress their mates or look “cool.” (Spoiler: they don’t.)
- Copycat syndrome: If their friends are being nasty, they’ll join in to feel accepted.
- Deflecting their own pain: If they’ve been bullied or are struggling at home, they might lash out at others.
- Attention seekers: Sometimes, it’s all about getting a reaction.
- Confidence issues: Low self-esteem can make people act out in the worst ways.
- Anger or frustration: They might be taking their personal problems out on others.
How Verbal Bullying Affects People
When someone is on the receiving end of constant insults, it can knock them sideways emotionally. And let’s be honest, kids (and teens) can be pros at hiding how they really feel. On the outside, they might shrug it off, but inside? That’s where the real battle happens.
Here’s how verbal bullying might make them feel:
- Depressed
- Anxious
- Withdrawn
- Suicidal
- Humiliated
- Frustrated
- Angry
- Blaming themselves
They might start to believe the mean words or feel like they deserve it. And when they bottle those feelings up, it can spill out in other ways:
- Self-harm
- Avoiding social situations: No more meetups, no more school parties, nada.
- Skipping school: Suddenly, they’ve got “headaches” every Monday.
- Social media silence: They might ghost their chats or avoid apps altogether.
- Aggressive behaviour: Sometimes, they lash out at family or friends.
- Developing unhealthy habits: Eating disorders, drinking, or even experimenting with drugs.
In extreme cases, it can lead to tragedy. Some young people have taken their own lives because of bullying. That’s why it’s so important to intervene.
How to Stop Verbal Bullying
Stopping bullying isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. The earlier you tackle it, the better. Here are some tips for getting the bullying to stop:
- Speak to school staff: Find a teacher or staff member your child feels safe with. Ask them to observe the situation without making it obvious.
- Talk to family members: Let your child share what’s happening. Family support can do wonders for their courage.
- Be assertive: Teach your child to respond confidently, like saying, “That’s boring—find something else to do.” But caution them to avoid escalating the situation.
- Ignore and walk away: Bullies thrive on attention. No reaction? Less fuel for their fire.
- Report it: If the situation gets worse, escalate it to the school leadership or even external bodies.
Keep Calm, Always
Yes, you’ll feel angry—maybe even furious—but aggression won’t solve anything. Losing your cool might escalate the situation, and no one wants a shouting match at the school gates.
Resources and Support
Feeling like you need a bit of backup? You’ve got options:
- Family Lives Helpline: Call 0808 800 2222 for confidential advice.
- Online Forums: Connect with other parents who’ve been there and done that.
- Free Parenting Courses: Head to our website for self-guided courses tailored to your child’s age and stage.
Remember, verbal bullying isn’t just “a phase” or something to brush off. You’re not just a parent; you’re your child’s safe space and advocate. Keep the conversation going, and don’t hesitate to get help. You’ve got this, super-parent.